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Discussion Starter #1
Grab some :corn: :

Ok well lets start off with some background information,we are both 16, and well, all of girls i know and talk to, about 50 , dont really do anything for me. I know some 10/10's that are whores and want my dick, and some 5/10(thats about my standard limit for being friends and talking)that have a decent personality i would guess, nothing really in between, until now. So theres this one girl who shares a couple of classes with me, and weve been talking on and off for a while now. She came onto me at first, and I wasnt sure if she was for me at the time. she is about a 8/10, and I have really high standards so she is good looking. Now when we first started talking(she started talking to me) she was single. Then about a month or so later she got a bf, we were talking in history and my friend, friend B, asked her how her boyfriend was, and she said "well i dont know if we are going out...well, i guess we are" but from the way they acted, it didnt seem too serious or intimate. now fast forward a month and she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend, this is the first she has really talked to me about her personal life, she talks to other guys about that, but she doesnt really mention anything like that to me. She does however talk to one of my friends about her personal life, well call him friend A. I dont really remember what I said when she said she broke up with her bf, i think i said something oh yea? that sucks. and then there was silence, i honestly wasnt sure what to say, since i didnt know anything about their relationship. Now fast forward a month or so until the end of school, and up until this point, i would not of considered her for a girlfriend. But now it starts to get a bit different, we started to flirt a bit more than usual. I read something on here about touching, she does touch me a bit and make eye contact when we are talking close to eachother. She started with it, I followed up, all in good flirting. One thing that bothers me though, is she does have alot of guy friends and talks to them often, Friend A especially. And probably others when im not around her and dont know, but it doesnt really bother me because hell, i talk to other girls too. So far now, weve known eachother for about 6 months, and I still havnt gotten her #, never really asked for it because i just considered us aquanitences.

Now since it is the end of the school year, the last couple days I have started to think that this is the one and wanted to let her know in a subtle kind of way. She is still into me from what I can tell, but once again she will also walk away from me and talk to one of my other friends in the class, again, jealousy = bad but i figure i need to make a move here, so here we are second to last day of school, we flirt as usual (its kind of a daily thing) and we leave on happy terms as usual.

Now its the last day of school, and im looking for some kind of recognition from this girl, but before i get a chance to come talk to her and flirt a bit more, she calls my friend A over to come take a seat and they start talking. About what, I dont know, I tried to stay away because i figure if she wanted to talk to me she would say something, but I did gather one part of the conversation, "So how long as he been talking to this chelsea girl", and I do not talk to a chelsea regularly so im on a best guess level right now, but i think you all know where my mind is roaming with this one. So class goes on, and near the end they stop talking and I sit down next to her and try to strike up a conversation, she seems a bit depressed(again, im thinking...) and then gets up to go over to my friends playing cards.

Now at this stage in time I am a bit depressed too, because as of now, this girl has been on my mind for the last couple days straight, and I cant get her out of it. this is the only girl I have ever, ever, experienced something like this with, I mean the thoughts of her possibly being the one just wrecked me for finals, and even being with my friends felt piss poor. So i get up and take a walk over, shes sitting there, and mind you ive been feeling depressed for a whole day now, couldnt sleep good, etc. As soon as we start talking and flirting and having a good time with eachother, it just seemed to all go away. Again, first time I have ever had this happen, and I have been with at least 15 girls. The entire thing was surreal, but then towards the end of class she goes to the front and hangs out by the door to run to her locker, me and all my friends are still in the back, and I still havnt asked her for her #. There is now a mob of people so i cant go up and talk to her, and that would be the last id see of her for a while, so that kind of brought me down. So for the rest of that day, with finals and all, my mind was on her, i probably fucked half my finals because i couldnt stop thinking about her and how i probably wouldnt be able to contact her for a while. The entire day i didnt eat, wasnt hungry, didnt feel like talking to anyone, I took a drive in my wrx, it got my mind off of her but as soon as i got back home, bam, right there again. So after finals, there is one more day of school left, she wasnt going so i went to hang with my friends and fuck around to get her off my mind. I asked Friend A(same friend A as always, who she talked to about her personal shit or so i think) if he had her #, and he gave me it(I dont think this is right and never really do it, but I needed it for peace of mind). this at least gave me some relief that I could talk to her if i wanted. So the whole day, i think about her here and there, but mainly enjoy myself with my friends, however i still did not eat, we ran to mcdonalds and i could barely finish a sausage mcmuffin without feeling strange in the stomache(you know like nervous first day of school type shit) so the school day ended, and Im sitting here with her #, I decide to text her, not call because i dont know what her daily sched is like and dont know if she will be busy or whatnot, and I basically say something along the lines of "Hey _ its _, got your # from friend A, i hope you dont mind or think thats weird but i just wanted to tell you i hope you have a fun summer and we should def hang out sometime. Mabye ill see you at (school amusement park day) and we can hit up some rides together, love ya girl, -my name here"

she replies back shortly after, "Hey namehere! You should def call me tommorow so we can meet up sometime." Now, I cant go because nobody can give me a ride and the wrx is on the jackstands. she doesnt know this, yet.

I reply that I need a ride and nobody I know is going. She can drive, and has a car, so in theroy she could take me but is probably going to be filling the car with her friends(who i dont know, guys or girls, im clueless on who she would go with, and would honestly like to know but i havnt asked her)

She doesnt hint at anything about her giving me a ride or anybody she knows, just askes why nobody is going to which i reply i dont know, and she gives the haha. and thats about it.


So I'm at a crossroads now, What I think I'm going to do, and tell me your thoughts, is give her a call saturday sometime and ask how it went, tell her i wish i could of gone etc, ask her if she had a good time etc, and then Im not sure whether to ask her out for something like a movie(sorry guys, coffeshop is a no-go for 16 year olds)or if she wants to do something different like walk around the mall(I know so cliche isnt it)and visit every store and buy something from it, or (insert your reccomendation here, I havnt really taken very many girls serious and we usualy just end up chilling at my house if nobodys home[which is out because the parents will be here all summer]).

So, toss me your views, tell me something im missing, recommendations on things to do on a first date, something she will remember that is DIFFERENT.

Thanks for listening to the longest post I have EVER typed out in my internet life.
 

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DWAFTW
03 Silver WRX Wagon
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I see you posted this on nasioc in the OT. One question: What in God's name were you thinking?
 

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Modsterdomus
2000 STM RS Sedan 5spd
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Holy crap long post!

I printed it and will comment in a week when i finish chapter 8.

Chris
 

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WCUimprezars said:
I see you posted this on nasioc in the OT. One question: What in God's name were you thinking?
+12345

I will post later...it is going to take me awhile to type out all my responses.
 

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Modsterdomus
2000 STM RS Sedan 5spd
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Sounds like a typical 16yr old story except that you have a wrx. NJ doesn’t get a drivers license until 18. Either way… every guy goes through what you are going through. Time to learn how to do it right so that you don’t end up 30 and alone.

First thing I noticed… the jealousy. You wrote “It bothers me that she talks to other guys” then “It doesn’t really bother me that she talks to other guys”.

Step 1) Stop lying to yourself. Yes you will naturally feel jealous if a girl you like talks to others. Chill out, let her do her thing because trying in anyway to control a woman will get you no where.

Step 2) Confidence… you wrote that you didn’t go talk to her because she didn’t invite you over. Take life into your own hands. Casually, and I stress casually go ahead and sit down in the group, join the conversation but keep your mouth shut. If she doesn’t want you in the conversation she will tell you.

Step 3) Make your self a rare commodity. Something I wish I knew at your age. Always be the one to leave the conversation or situation before she does. Always at the best point or directly after, bail. This will make her realize how good it is when you are around. It also has the bonus of making it look like you have your own life. The last thing a girl wants is a guy who will follow her around like a puppy dog.

Step 4) Ask Friend A if she has said anything about liking you. Don’t be shy about it, just ask. If he says no then let the topic go… pressing makes you an unwanted guest in her world and you can bet it WILL get back to her. If he says anything other than NO… Get more details. Convince him that by telling you what she has been saying he is “helping her to be happy” because then you can act on what she actually wants instead of guessing. A good friend would never prevent the girl from being happy.

How to get to your event. DON’T YOU KIDS HAVE PARENTS? Get the rents to give you a ride! Or ride your bike, do something because this chick invited you. Be there.

Don’t be overbearing. You may think the world of her, she is still 16 and not ready for that sort of relationship. Play it cool and let her make any real moves. Its like playing tennis, always keep the ball in her court. You want a date, make an offer and let her call you as to when. If you start running her life she will drop you like a bad habit.

Good luck and keep us informed.

Why is the WRX on jackstands?
 

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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
The thing is, I dont want to go if she is going to be around her friends, which I figure she will be, so thats why I really didnt make the effort to get a ride, i dont want to spend all day with her and her friends. Plus its already too late to get a ride there. As far as her talking to friend A, she wouldnt say something like that to him, i know him too well and if she wanted me to know she would tell me, now her girlfirends are another story, I really dont know any of them so thats kind of out of the question. Plus im always around this kid so he would tell me if she said something. I think he knows that she likes me, because whenever Im around she will try to keep her space from him, one time he went up to her to try and give her a hug and she sorta pushed him away which i found, stunning to say the least. He didnt really know how to react to that, and neither did I.

I didnt go over into her conversation because I could tell she didnt want me there, it had nothing to do with confidence which mine may not be perfect for everyone, but for this girl its at 100%.

Well what do you recommend I do now, give her a call tommorow and see how it went? And ask her to do something then, or ask her to do something a little bit later, Ive only had her # for a day now, and really havn't shown interest in doing something together until now. And the wrx is on jacks because im throwing on some tien coilovers that my dad had lying around from his sti, so I cant drive atm. I would figure that it is kind of wierd to ask her to drive, but I mean thats what I got to do right? how would you handle that, just ask her to pick you up? (she knows i cant drive atm).
 

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Discussion Starter #7
WCUimprezars said:
I see you posted this on nasioc in the OT. One question: What in God's name were you thinking?

testing the waters, I knew it was bad, I just didnt know how bad :lol:
 

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You shoulda gone... you gotta get the friends approval, plus if the friends are on your side you get some positive support from within. You don't want her to think you don't like her friends, or are a boring person or something.

Since it's too late (from what you're saying) give her a call say sorry something came up, but definitely next time then get her talking about it.
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
I dont really want to call in the middle of her day, she will probably be there all day and be busy(its an amusement park for christs sake).

sorry something came up is terrible, that will make her think that I dont want to hang with her, but then again i dont know if shes looking forward to meeting me there and will be dissappointed if i dont call her to meet up. It is not the easiest thing rofl...shit. Plus if I call her tomorrow and tell her that i couldnt get a ride but wish i could of gone, i could get something a little more 1 on 1 like a movie or someshit. the problem is this girl works alot, and i dont know her work schedule, so if i called sometime on saturday, would asking her to a movie saturday night be a bit too much?
 

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If it isn't too late why not call her and go?

If it is... call her after, I didn't mean immediately. An amusement park would've been a good place to hang out with her friends even if you didn't want to, because there is enough distractions that you aren't engaged in conversation with them the whole time.
 

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Modsterdomus
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You are already trying to be separate from her regular activities... sorry bro but that won’t fly. You cant just have her alone all the time… it will happen, but don’t avoid situations with her friends. The first thing that happens when a girl starts spending time with a new guy and less with the friends is that they will sabotage the relationship. You need to become one of the friends so that jealousy from the friends is not as bad.

You also made it sound like Friend A was talking to her about her feelings for a guy. We are not there so we base every piece of advice we give on what you tell us… the better the facts you give the better advice you will get.

So… what to do now. You didn’t go, don’t make a big deal out of it. You already told her you couldn’t get a ride, so it’s not like you stood her up. Text her and ask her how it went like you said and just let her know you want to hang out once your car goes back together. Then go put your car back together and stop wasting time. Once you have your ride back then you can move on to the next step.

As for what to do with the girl, I don’t know anything about her, so I can’t suggest anything slick. But I will stress leave the time open, the last thing you want is to get shut down because of her work schedule. So when you send the message that your car is fixed and you want her help to go pick a new tie for your cousin’s wedding, don’t write anything regarding time. When she says when, just ask when she is free.

Do not send too many messages. Keep them short. Fix your car.

Chris
 

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I say don't call. Call her the next day or something. Maybe she might call or text you that day or next asking why, and that'll show she actually cared to have you there.

by the way Jurzey, it's 17 here in NJ haha. provisional though 18 is unrestricted
 

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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
Ok well i texted her around 2:30 today, said that im sorry i couldnt go, and i was really lookin forward to it but couldnt get a ride, told her to have a good time and that id call her tommorow if shes not busy to see how things went. She replied back, "sounds good! have a good day" And honstly i cant tell if she is just trying to be nice to me or if she really wants me to call, i guess ill call and see how it goes. Suggestions? Do I ask her out or wait a bit, i mean honestly this girl is so hard to read for me its stupid, i usually pick up on certain things but i dont even know if she wants me to have her cell # which i got yesterday from my friend or if she has any interest in me, but it appears she does from what i can tell...gahh just want some peace of mind :(
 

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shockey` said:
The thing is, I dont want to go if she is going to be around her friends, which I figure she will be, so thats why I really didnt make the effort to get a ride, i dont want to spend all day with her and her friends.
That's the smartest thing anyone has said in this whole thread. Group first dates are the worst idea ever. You got lucky that you couldn't go on that one.

What I would do. STOP overthinking the situation. You are psyching yourself out by overanalyizing everything she says. It's pretty clear the girl has at least some interest in you, that's all you need. She will go on a date with you at this point, but you have to ask. Which brings me to point two... CALL (none of this text bullshit) and ask her on a date. Something fun like mini golf that will let you two chat while you do it. Make sure you are clear that it's only the two of you and that it's a date. DO NOT pussy foot around and be like yo we should chill sometime. Just be direct and confident. You are 16 man, you don't need to worry so much. Nothing that bad can happen regardless.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
JC said:
That's the smartest thing anyone has said in this whole thread. Group first dates are the worst idea ever. You got lucky that you couldn't go on that one.

What I would do. STOP overthinking the situation. You are psyching yourself out by overanalyizing everything she says. It's pretty clear the girl has at least some interest in you, that's all you need. She will go on a date with you at this point, but you have to ask. Which brings me to point two... CALL (none of this text bullshit) and ask her on a date. Something fun like mini golf that will let you two chat while you do it. Make sure you are clear that it's only the two of you and that it's a date. DO NOT pussy foot around and be like yo we should chill sometime. Just be direct and confident. You are 16 man, you don't need to worry so much. Nothing that bad can happen regardless.

thats what im going to do, well see how it goes.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
allright well i called her, we talked for a bit, i didnt ask her out yet, she just got off work and didnt seem to be in a good mood, plus she had some grad parties to go to and would be busy this weekend, but we talked for about 5 mins and then said she had to get going and to call her back next week sometime, im not sure if i blew it (i think i did) but im going to call her back on monday or tuesday and ask her to do something.
 

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Son what did I just tell you not to do? lol Stop worrying about blowing it and get to the asking her out part a lot faster next time.
 

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Modsterdomus
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JC is dead on with the ovethinking thing...

It happened just how i expected it would...

You called and asked and she blew it off due to time constraints. Have to take that out of the picture by leaving the time up to her.

Then she bailed first on the conversation... that is your job. When the going gets good, bail. Its like setting the hook in fishing... dangle the bait, when she goes for it give it a good yank. Once the hook is set you can real her in.

99% of 16yr old girls want what they cant have. Make yourself scarce. Be busy. Leave before the fun is over, If she agrees to mini golf... once the game is over, end the date. Even if she offers some place else to go, you have to be somewhere to a previously made commitment. She will not be able to stop thinking about you and will want more.

It is also time to start looking for a different girl. Right now you are obsessing over one girl... you need to stop, the only way to do that is to start looking for the next. This will give you something else to think about and you wont be worrying so much about this girl.

Go fix your damn car. If you dont have a ride you are a loser.

Chris
 

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Discussion Starter #20 (Edited)
Jurzey, i didnt ask her out yet, so she didnt say anything about time constraints. We just talked for a while, she had just gotten off work and was getting icecream when she called. she sounded a bit dismal, and wasnt in the best of moods so i didnt want to ask her right then, she said she had to get going and to call her sometime next week. What does next week mean? This was a saturday, I think im going to give her a call tuesday and set it up for that night, or is that a bad idea and i should give her time, and ask for wednesday instead? and car is in the process of being fixed, but probably wont be done until friday, so is asking for a ride really that big of a deal? Or should i just get dropped off by one of my friends and meet her there? And i found she gets off work rather early, around 1-3 pm. So that shouldnt be an excuse.
 
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