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Discussion Starter #1
Why does 'cheating' draw so much more morally charged outrage, and is frowned upon more than any other lie or deception thats ever done over the course of relationship or just general human intraction?

What is cheating? A Lie? a Deception? Whats actually wrong with it? That they cheat, or that they don't end the relationship before having done it.
Is cheating the scapegoat for a bigger lie or deception?

How about adultury... how is it different?
 

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2016 Golf R
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Cheating has always been seen as the ultimate no-no in relationships. In the eyes of a woman, "true love" means you only have an interest in her. Some men are like this too and cant imagine their woman sleeping with another person (and with good reason).

It's not cheating when the relationship is over, so the issue is that said person didnt end it before cheating. You usually get a different reaction if you immediately get with someone after a break up occurs.
 

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Zantrex-3 YES!
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Cheating is a lie, it is a sign of weakness in a person. If you want to be with someone else you show respect to the person you are with and break up before moving on. Cheating disregards the SO's worth and treats them as an expendible object, a means to some other end. The same goes for adultry and in this case it displays a persons weakness of being able to keep a promise made in the beginning of their marriage.

"Whats actually wrong with it? That they cheat, or that they don't end the relationship before having done it."

They go hand in hand. You cannot cheat if you have ended the realtionship so obviously it's bad because the cheater hasn't ended the relationship.
 

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1998 impreza 2.5rs
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if there's a break-up, and then someone goes and bangs someone else right after that, it's technically not cheating, however depending on the situation, it can be one of those things where it has been leading up to that for a while, meaning the person has been thinking about it for a while, and working towards it while still in the relationship, then at the last minute breaking up. That still may not be cheating (could be argued the opposite, too) but it is distrustful, and that is on the same level as cheating. Not too much of a difference except the physical aspect of it, and if your relationship is worthwhile it's not based only on the physical side, there should be a mental connection, with mental trust. Mental cheating and physical cheating can be equally bad at times.

I dated a girl who left me, and then fucked a guy she'd been hanging out with for a while. then they dated. You know damn well it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing, it had been leading up, flirting, talking on the phone at night, probably hugging and cuddling and stuff. Technically not cheating, but in my mind it's no different because of the original intent. I never used to be a jealous guy, but after that my trust in women dropped a lot. Maybe it wasn't cheating, but it was distrustful, and that's no better or worse than cheating.

Adultery is the same. I feel marriage is a dumb event in the first place, why should people need to sign their love on paper to make it official, why can't two people just love each other and be together, they need to make it legal for it to be real?? that said, cheating during a marriage is no different than not married except now you have to get paperwork done just to end it. pointless if you ask me.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I agree with all of that, but how is it any
different than any other lie? Or any other
weakness's in a relationship that we will
often overlook? Or at least, be more forgiving over.

This is what I'm getting to the root of, Why is this lie any greater than any other lie or deception? I know there is no difference, so why is it demonized as the absolutely worst thing you can do in a relationship???
 

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2.5RS Rally Car | 06 WRX
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Drakuun said:
I agree with all of that, but how is it any
different than any other lie? Or any other
weakness's in a relationship that we will
often overlook? Or at least, be more forgiving over.

This is what I'm getting to the root of, Why is this lie any greater than any other lie or deception? I know there is no difference, so why is it demonized as the absolutely worst thing you can do in a relationship???
Because a relationship, as conventionally defined, is an exclusive romantic connection (mental and physical) between two people... that is really the core of what a relationship is, otherwise - what's the point? If one of those people goes off and has sex with someone else, the exclusivity is violated.
 

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Premium Member
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Here's my take on cheating.

Cheating is the biggest slap in the face or fattest insult you can ever give your partner. If a person cheats on his/her partner, then that partner is being put at risk for contracting STDs. And in the case of a man being cheated on, it puts the man at risk for having to support a kid that isn't his own. If he wises up and leaves the woman, it still won't get him out of child support.

Not. Cool.
 

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Mobile Diagnosis Guy
97 Impreza L
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5,492 Posts
to me cheating is bad because it is so easy to avoid. Ive always said, Id much prefer a girlfriend to call me 1 minute before she is ready to cheat and break up with me than actually cheat. Its that simple.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
2.5RSMatt said:
give an example of a lie in a relationship that doesn't involve cheating.
Read some of the threads in this forum.

Read some of the half truth suggestions given as ways and means to get into a girls pants, or forward a relationship or break one off.
 

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Don't go changin
00' RS
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From your post it seems like you have had some kind of 'experience' with cheating that maybe we haven't. If so, may I ask what it was? I'm just curious because it seems like anybody with a heart (or that cares about the person they are in the relationship with) would know why cheating is such a horrible thing to do.

I'll be honest, there are times when I get the urge and feel like if at that exact moment some girl wanted to bone, I'd do her, but I don't think I'd be able to go through with it if it even went that far. Then those urges pass and I think of how much hurt I'd be causing my girlfriend by giving in to that temptation. I also think of how stupid it would have been and how much I would regret it. After that I almost always say to myself "Well of course I want to fuck every hot piece of ass out there, Imma dude." Then I feel better.
 

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Drakuun said:
I agree with all of that, but how is it any
different than any other lie? Or any other
weakness's in a relationship that we will
often overlook? Or at least, be more forgiving over.

You overlook and forgive upright lies?
 

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Betrayal of trust, and it's a big blow to the ego; you're not the only person she's attracted to. In fact, she's probably more attracted to the other guy, since she's willing to put aside the fact that she's in a relationship. Also, it shows a total lack of respect for your partner, as well as for the fact that you're spoken for.
 

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Boxer rumble FTW!
2005 Subaru Impreza 2.5 RS
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621 Posts
seanski06 said:
well he does drive a GD
ouch, thats hitting below the belt. GD=GC both are sweet. Anyways, my take on cheating is that is is the ultimate slap in the face (as mentioned) that you could do to some-one. its prolly the most hurtfull thing one could do short of actually pyshical pain. Its is a lie, it is decitefull, dishonest, disrespectfull, immature, childish, shady, selfish, and stupid. Not only is the cheater not being true to their partner, they are not being true to themselves in a way either, that it will probably bite them in the ass later. Adultry is the same way only multiplied, having to deal with the legal aspect and worse children! Peolpe could do so much better for themselves if the would be honest, truthfull, and adult (thanks James).
I know lots of things happen in life and relationships and peolpe do meet other peolpe when they are already commited but if they would stop and think about what they really want. They should be honest with themselves and make a heathy decision and if need be end the relationship with their current before moving on, rather than lie and cheat. I'll shut up now but thats what i think.
 

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Cheating is the lamest of lame.

Yes, I've been cheated on once. In the later years of high school, I dated a girl for about three years. It was the first time either of us were really in "love" I guess you could say, and by all means it was like that. Everything was pretty good until summer of '05. That's when she met this freshman in band camp (yea, I kinda hate band). We were seniors at the time. She eventually started "hanging out" with him more and more, trying to cover it up, but I finally found out little by little. She ended up trying to blame it all on me, saying I was doing things wrong in the relationship. She really changed once she met this guy, who btw, was a freshman when she was a senior (roughly 4 years apart).

Now the bad... this all happened in about a month or so, so it was a hard hit after 3 years. For two months after, I felt horrible. I barely ate, I didn't want to go out with friends or anything... serious depression. It was just a horrible sick feeling inside that finally went away. I think what really helped was ditching all the little notes and crap I saved, as well as replacing things she bought me, such as my wallet.

Ending story... I met some girl since then, we broke up, whatever, we're still friends. Then another came along, who I'm still with, and we're awesome to say the least (who was also cheated on by come guy who got some other girl pregnant... she keyed the shit out of his truck when she left that night).

Even today, this evil one still bitches at me through MySpace and whatnot. Recently my current girlfriend had been in a conversation with the ex's boyfriend and he complained that she was "difficult" and "complains alot"... which are all true now that I think about it haha. After the ex found out about this, she blamed it on my girlfriend, even after 2 years of not talking to me. She refuses to see how he sees her, but heck, I don't blame him for not admitting to it... a sophomore in high school dating a sophomore in college haha, he's got it made. She's one crazy ass bitch... in a bad way. :letitout:

But seriously, it hurts like hell when someone cheats on you who you really believed in for 3 years. When I came home after we officially broke up, I balled my eyes out hysterically... just getting it all out (if you've ever lost anyone close, you know what I mean when it first sets in). I've hadn't done that before and haven't since... it's horrible. And for anyone who has been cheated on, get back on your feet, find yourself another girl, and move on... when they say it gets better, it really will.

*end crazy emotional stuff*

Now I'm off to roam the site once again to man up. :rolleyes:
 
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