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Discussion Starter #1
well here I am again on another rant of sorts...

It always seems that my girl never has any interest in me sexually. it seems like she just wants me to be the guy that says im her boyfriend and takes her places.
I am always all over her and asking her to do dirty things to her, but she never wants it, mostly cause her parents are in the next room, so i understand, but even when we are alone, i still have to ask to even make out, and if i want pleasuring of any sorts, i have to almost beg, and even then i still usually get a "NO". She never asks me if i want any. although i always ask her if she does.
once every week or 2 she will lean over and start a kiss and act all into it for about 30 seconds, but then she goes back to normal.
i dont know what to do!
she is a sweetheart, but this is driving me crazy!

fyi: we have been going out 2+ years. its been like this for as long as i can remember, i guess its just starting to get to me, i dunno
is this normal?
help me out!
advice????
 

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Boxer rumble FTW!
2005 Subaru Impreza 2.5 RS
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Have you two been having sex? or are you trying to get there?

This sounds like exactly how my ex was. our first year together we went at it like rabbits. 3-4 times a week and usually 2 or 3 times per time too. but then the last year and a half her drive slowed down bigtime and i had to beg for it to kinda and she would get mad at me. at this time we only did it like once every 2 or 3 months. part of it was her work schedule and college created lack of time. but then i found out she was cheating on me so she had interest in some one else.
This may not be the case here. she could be busy, stressed, tired, anxious or sex has lost its pizzazz to her. its hard to say. i would say to talk to her about at a good time but she may get really upset at you for mentioning it IDK. maybe some one else can chime in.
But i do know that problems in beroom usually entail larger problems in the relationship. Good luck i hope it works out!!!
 

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Premium Member
'04 Impreza 2.5 RS
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I dated a girl like that...for a month. After that I went to girls who put out. My theory is and always has been that there's a gorgeous, personable girl who loves sex just as much as I do. And I'm not going to rest until I find her!

Since you've been in there for two years, this is a major decision i take it. If its really breaking the relationship for you, cut it off, you can find someone who can satisfy what you need. How old are you? In high school that kind of crap is common, but as you get older it really isn't.

Just think of what would happen further down the line? "Honey, I have a permanent headache, and I don't even want to kiss you, ok?"
 

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Retired Admin
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Someone's not going to last long on my site ... -2 rep points given. 1 more and you're banned. Go read the rules, jackass.
 

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And she sounds like my ex-wife. You know what? Sexuality is a key component of any relationship, and this won't get better. I would *strongly* recommend you seriously think about dumping her. I "stuck it out" for 11 years with my ex wife, and it never got better. It got to the point where we'd lay in bed, and it felt like I was sharing the bed with my sister. Completely non-sexual and just horrible.

Your woman's job is to make you happy, and if she doesn't then you need to fire her. Sweet or not, her libido is incompatible with yours, so get rid of her.

Donna and I? Sweet Jesus, some nights I'd prefer she leave me alone so I can get some fucking SLEEP!!!
 

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'99 2.5 RS Rally Blue Pearl
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RS25.com said:
Donna and I? Sweet Jesus, some nights I'd prefer she leave me alone so I can get some fucking SLEEP!!!
you live a difficult life...haha, sorry :)
 

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Discussion Starter #9
shifthead said:
How old are you? In high school that kind of crap is common, but as you get older it really isn't.
i am 19 and she is 20, we are both in college and both live with her parents, so, going all the way is hard to do, but i mean its just a lack of interest in general.

maybe i am just a horny as hell guy or there is somthing wrong with me, i dunno
its gotten to the point where i eye [email protected]#k almost every decent chick i see!
i am getting desperate.

and its not that i need sex, i can go without that, its just that i want her to show interest, and make first moves herself, and stop pushing me away when i make a move
 

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Mook said:
maybe i am just a horny as hell guy or there is somthing wrong with me, i dunno
its gotten to the point where i eye [email protected]#k almost every decent chick i see!
i am getting desperate.
I do that too. I eye fuck practically every fuckable chick with a nice ass that walks by. it doesn't mean you're desperate... it only means you are a sexual being and that's perfectly fine.
 

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2001 A.W. L
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i am 19 and she is 20, we are both in college and both live with her parents, so, going all the way is hard to do, but i mean its just a lack of interest in general.
So have you or her gone all the way?

maybe i am just a horny as hell guy or there is somthing wrong with me, i dunno
its gotten to the point where i eye [email protected]#k almost every decent chick i see!
i am getting desperate.
you wouldnt be normal if that didnt happen :lol:

its just that i want her to show interest, and make first moves herself
Thats something that will never really change, I have found that to be part of someones personality.

and stop pushing me away when i make a move
Now this is something that can be worked on. One thing I have found is that if you act like you dont want sex, they start to really want it. Most women that I have slept with needed to be turned on, which requires some work. Unlike me where its like an on/off switch stuck on on :lol: I dont know if anyone knows of a good book on suduction but that may be a good place to start.

Now if you just want her to be ready to go at any point you need to find another woman. And they are out there!
 

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Is she on birth control? Some women are more affected than others and this can really hurt her sex drive. I have been with my girlfriend/fiance for 4+ years and for the first year or so we were going at it ALL the time (5-6 times a week). After that first year she got on birth control and suddenly things changed. At first it was only a few times a month, and now it has dropped to maybe once a month. She says that a lot of it is stress and she just never feels in the mood.

The weird thing though is that things will get better for a week or two, almost as if she remembers how much she enjoys it, but then we will go back to the same routine of me badgering her about it and her getting slightly annoyed.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
yeah, we have gone all the way in the past.
we go at it, like once every 1 to 2 months.
even when i get a hotel room, we only do it like once though... sigh...

i just feel like i would be a shallow guy if i broke up with her cause of something like this, even though this isn't my only problem with her.

and she isnt on birth controll, although, i think it would help cause she is PMS ALL THE TIME!!!! so i think she is gonna get it soon.
 

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from what i've experienced in the past with my ex, don't act so needy or desperate. unfortunately i found out too late..hence the ex.
i've gotten tips from reading david deangelo's newsletters. if she's not interested, act as if it doesn't bother you. seriously, play it cool and smoothly. be a man. unphased. be her ROCK! your job is to love and protect her. let her do the chasing. and don't beg! ever!
neediness (i.e. begging) is unattractive. it puts pressure on the other person. let's say if someone told you, "i'd die if i ever lost you. i need you in my life." ...bet you'd be like..wtf?
attraction: people want what they don't or can't have. think about it.
and don't give her exactly what she wants..at least not easily. make her work for it. tease her. not the other way around. keep things interesting.
and possibly act like you're not that interested in her. her not being that interested in going all the way nowadays..makes you want it even more doesn't it? turn the tides.

keep yourself busy. be a bit cocky..but don't overdo it. just exude confidence. and don't be an asshole. your sweetheart side of you..keep that on the downlow.

i've rambled too much. if all else fails..there are many more girls out there dude.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
aksion00 said:
neediness (i.e. begging) is unattractive. it puts pressure on the other person. let's say if someone told you, "i'd die if i ever lost you. i need you in my life." ...bet you'd be like..wtf?
that sounds like a direct quote from her when i tried to break up with her a month or 2 ago. made me feel bad, so i gave her another chance
 

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'04 Impreza 2.5 RS
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RS25.com said:
Your woman's job is to make you happy, and if she doesn't then you need to fire her. Sweet or not, her libido is incompatible with yours, so get rid of her.
That is some wonderfully artistic wording right there. Kinda like Donald Trump. You need to walk in, point at her, and say, "You're DUMPED!"
 

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I would say that if your girl has no libido at 20, you should suggest she see a doctor. There are all sorts of safe non-perscription (and perscription) medications that can be taken to adjust hormone levels to normal. 20 and no sex drive is abnormal. and can be treated.
 

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im in a similar boat right now...she just doesnt seem interested very often...

i talked to her about it and she said she feel fat and unattractive though...she is 5 foot 6 about 140...so not skinny as a rail but i dont like girls that look unhealthy...i tell her every day she looks great the way she is but she still doesn't like to be naked...i think she just needs help with self-esteem though...

EDIT - she wont even hang out in a bathing suit around me and my friends
 

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No, it's not normal.

The short answer - dump her.

The long answer - You're 19? You need to be geting laid, dude. Girl (or guy) not putting out is a double edged sword for a relationship, whether the g/f has esteem/image issues or not. You're not going to change her anytime soon, (and why would you want to try?) And even if you sit her down and talk about this it's not like she's going to instantly go from not putting out at all to doing it daily. BUT - you do have full control over changing yourself (rather, the situation you have chosen for yourself.) Stand by your gut feeling and get out and get what you need. Don't stick around with someone just because you feel bad for her, and ESPECIALLY don't stick around with a chick just because you've been "going out for so long."

At your age and in college, a girlfriend is the last thing you need. Get out there, sow your oats, and pray for crop failure in the morning.
 

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Modsterdomus
2000 STM RS Sedan 5spd
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So... I'll get flamed for this one... but hey, it might just work.

Cheat on her. Don't get caught. Don't tell her. Just go out and flirt, make out, or get laid.

Reasoning is this. Begging is for dogs. It is NOT sexy. Any seduction attempt you make during the time period where you are not getting any will just look like begging to her. You need to release your pent up sexual energy by using it somewhere else. Once that is gone you will not NEED the sex and can she will sense that. She will realize that you are a sexual object to be used for her enjoyment. Trust me it just works this way.

Other possibility is you are terrible in bed. If you go out and practice... if you find another girl to help you maybe you might learn something. The better you get the more likely she is to drop her panties for you.

Worst case scenario... you get caught and she dumps you. That’s not so bad either because she sounds like a frigid bitch. Go find someone who is more likely to address your needs.

Another note... it sounds like you were not her first. If the guy was considerably better, then you just lose. Sorry. Or if you were her first and were bad. She will never love sex until she finds someone better. You also lose. Move on.

Chris
 
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