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Premium Member
2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
well i made the big mistake, again. i got sprung on a chick i've only been out on a few dates with.

i don't have a problem picking up women nor do i have a problem going out on dates, having conversations, or even having relationships. my biggest problem i think, is that when i meet a girl i really like, i mean, i really feel a good connection (this has happened about three or four times), i get sprung. i don't have an obsessive personality, and i hate drama to the utmost degree, but i simply can't help myself.

i WANT her to call me and hang out with me so bad, after only a few encounters, that i get pissed when she doesn't call me or show me some attention. this only happens with girls i really like. i've gone out with plenty of girls that were great, and i haven't turned into this weird guy.

but i get impatient and usually saying or doing something completely stupid that ruins everything. i get into this deep funk and i'm so sick and tired of it.

so i'm hoping this time i didnt say anything too dumb to completely ruin my chances.
(bare with me)
i met this girl about three weeks ago at a party. we talked, had a good time, had a few drinks, made out, fondled each other a little, exchanged info and went on our ways. i called her a few days later and she immediately agreed to go out with me the following week. I'm 23, shes 30 so its an age difference but i do handle myself pretty well and pretty easy on the eyes so we went for it.
we had two great dates, she was on her woman time so we weren't able to stand on all the bases, but we fooled around enough for me to get sprung.

so the last time i talked to her was this past saturday, i dropped her off at her house in the morning, and i sent a quick text message sunday afternoon asking if she was available. no response.
i called her monday evening just to say hi and no response.
another quick text tues asking if she was busy and got a text back saying "sorry ive been busy, already made plans for tonight. not ignoring you cuz that would be rude. talk to you later."

so i called her wed afternoon and left a brief message saying we should do something this weekend and hit me up later. simple and brief.
then i went out drinking that night and at midnight i still had gotten no response and got pissed and sent her a message along the lines of "you know, i sure would like to hear from you. the past two dates have been amazing but im a passionate guy, and so are you thats why im so attracted to you. (i was drunk) i need to hear from you because im getting kinda mixed signals"

last night around 11 she sent me this message "4 someone who doesnt like drama, ur being a little dramatic. i've had a busy week and i havent talked to many friends yet none of them would send me messages like the ones you sent. i thought we were going to have fun and keep things lite. ur messages were not cool and im sorry you felt that way. good night"

i sent back a few minutes later "ur right and i apologize. it was very immature of me. i dont like drama at all and i was being selfish. i had a few drinks last night and got a little ahead of myself. i'd appreciate another shot at it when you arent too busy but id understand if you dont want to. night."

so what should i do now?
 

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2005 Subaru Impreza RS 5MT
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2,827 Posts
i think you know what you should do, you just don't want to: stay the heck away. at least for a while. you'll screw things up permanently if you don't slow it down. give her a call again in a few weeks, or conveniently bump into her some other time. til then, have no contact, or you'll come off as even more of a nut.
 

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Premium Member
2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
ok thats exactly what i was thinking.
thanks for readin it. i was gonna call her tomorrow to see if she wanted to go to the beach this weekend but its not a good idea at all.
damn i know better too. i just get too excited you know?
 

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2005 Subaru Impreza RS 5MT
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haha, yeah, i know how it is to be all crazy over someone. you have to have self control, though. that's how we earn our big-boy pants. :p
 

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Blue 2001 Subaru Impreza 2.5rs
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648 Posts
Yea, I agree 100% just lay off for a little while. And btw, I think we all know how your feelin' rite now,

I know I do, I do the same thing. Only about 3 grils in my life but when you find someone like that all you want in the world is for her to call every 5 minutes. haha. gl.
 

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1999 Rally Bluuuuuu
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1,361 Posts
Start looking for another girl. If she's telling you to back off now, its likely dead. Besides, it really doesn't hurt to have a backup and it'll help to take your mind off this one for a while. If you show a woman that you like her too much too soon, she'll get cold to you.... same way when a girl gives it up too quick, ya know?
 

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Premium Member
2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
italsupra10 said:
Start looking for another girl. If she's telling you to back off now, its likely dead. Besides, it really doesn't hurt to have a backup and it'll help to take your mind off this one for a while. If you show a woman that you like her too much too soon, she'll get cold to you.... same way when a girl gives it up too quick, ya know?

like i said, i've got a few girls on call but they are last resorts kinda. but i hear yea. i need to distract myself with something or someone else for sure.
i hear yea on the givin it up too quick part.

damn. this sucks.
 

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Unfortunately I do not think there is anything you can do at this point. You already smothered her and if she is still interested you just need to wait for her to contact you. She will call you when she is ready, or she won't call you and you shouldn't worry about it. There are a lot of women out there and if she did not like the attention you were trying to give her then she was not worth it anyways.

One problem I do see is that she was under the impression that you wanted to keep things simple, yet you were acting like you wanted something more serious. For future relationships you need to do a better job distinguishing between the two. Do not call a girl every night after a couple dates when you are only dating. Keep her wanting more and let her come to you. It is a lot more fun that way!
 

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2015 WRX STI WRB
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Discussion Starter #9
i know it. im not calling her.
 

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wood grain grippin'
v2 STi wagon
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3,399 Posts
Dude, now I have that T-Pain song in my head! aah

(I did not read any more than the title)
 

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2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
what song is that?
 

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Super Moderator
'17 Impreza Sport, '15 OB 3.6R
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9,806 Posts
I hate all this mind game crap. I always did.

If you like the girl, call and apologize for being weird. If it feels right, stay with her. If it doesn't, split.

Don't play all of the "well I did this so she must think that" bullshit. Talking to her is the only way to know. The rest of it, the assumptions, just drive you crazy.
 

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2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
you think so eh? i do want to call and apologize but im just not sure if its another "weird" move again. if i had just kept my cool in the first place none of this would happen. i hate it when i turn into a 15 yearold again.
 

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Super Moderator
'17 Impreza Sport, '15 OB 3.6R
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If you want to give it a day or two so as not to seem weird, that would be alright I guess. But again, it's all about mind games. Are you waiting because of an assumed reaction?

:)

Dating's tough. But if you really care for the girl, just call and be honest. If you do, there'll be no doubts later. You will have told her how you felt.
 

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i don't see the problem with calling her everyday/ every other, you have to be careful when you first set these things up. You obviously are looking for a relationship and you needed to make that clear when you first met her. If your in a relationship with her there are things she needs to do for you that make you happy. The only way you can find out is if you talk to her and tell her the things you need for her to be happy, she can't read your mind, and if she still doesn't comply abandon ship. Remember anything you say can be used against you in the future, a honest respectable woman that likes you will not do this.
 

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Another thing if your starting to get those stomach anxiety pains avoid contact for alittle bit, keep yourself busy because when you mind is working like that its likely for you to say or do something stupid. Take a step back and concentrate on your life, not hers. Make her work to make you happy, not the other way around.
 

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Premium Member
2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
i hate those stomach pains. sometimes i wish i could be a complete tool and just not care about women, but i'm just so much more respectful than that. i'll try callin her tomorrow one last time i guess and try and tell her i had been drinking and i lost my head.
 

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1999 Subaru Impreza 2.5rs BDP
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2,079 Posts
dude in my opinion you should wait a few days to see if she calls you. if she does then ISS ALL GOOOOOOD. and if she doesn't then you could go ahead and call her. Also, do you have anything fun/important coming up in your schedule soon? cause if you do, that'd be a good excuse to call her and ask if she wanted to accompany you to it.

P.S.-reading your title i thought you popped a random boner on a chick and she got freaked out :)
 

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2015 WRX STI WRB
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8,394 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
scoobaroo said:
dude in my opinion you should wait a few days to see if she calls you. if she does then ISS ALL GOOOOOOD. and if she doesn't then you could go ahead and call her. Also, do you have anything fun/important coming up in your schedule soon? cause if you do, that'd be a good excuse to call her and ask if she wanted to accompany you to it.

P.S.-reading your title i thought you popped a random boner on a chick and she got freaked out :)

sounds good.

and yes, i have popped random boners on chicks. they love the wang. lol
 
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