Well damn... I guess I'll have to try one of those damneable internet messaging programs. Last time I used one, all I got where horny chicks looking to score.

Wife did not find it amusing. Hell, with my luck it was probably horny, gay guys looking to score. None of ya'll are lookin' to score, are ya? At least not with my short, fat, ugly arse?
Anyway.... (don't ya love it when someone starts a sentence with, 'anyway?') I'm about to quaff a few more brews, load a dirt bike in the back of a truck, and then go watch my daughter cheer at a basketball game. Considering my house is on cinderblocks, I do believe that qualifies me as a *******. Damn, damn, damn...
*saunters off to get another beer*
P.S. Yes, I do saunter. Why do you think them bear hunters didn't shoot us in the parking lot at the hotel? My deadly saunter!
